This time last year I was:
Preparing for my 3 day transfer (again)
I was holding out hope that 1 of the 2 embryos that made it would be our forever baby
I had given up my journey to motherhood to god
I was hanging out with the in-laws completing my 3rd round of IVF
I had finished injecting powerful drugs into my body
I turned to bee pollen, CQ10, Wheatgrass and acupuncture to help grow healthier eggs
Here is the link to my post from September 20, 2010
This year I am:
A MOM!!!!!!!
I kiss little toes and fingers
I breastfeed a beautiful little girl
I read story books and say bedtime prayers
I say “I Love You” many many times a day
I praise god nightly for his masterpiece
I haven’t taken much time to look back on the painful years before Rachel. I am living in the moment of being her mom. I am enjoying every second of it. I don’t mind the sleepless nights, I cherish every breath. She is my perfect lamb and I will never forget what it took to get her here. But the painful times are still there. Mark has mentioned a couple times “Maybe we should try for another.” For me I can’t even go there, I don’t want to walk down that difficult road again, not now anyway. The joy and love I feel shouldn’t be taken away by the fear of miscarriages, drug induced mood swings, embarrassing surgeries, needles and more needles. Rachel has earned the right to have a happy and hopeful mom.
If you are still on that difficult road please read my story as inspiration. I know it can be hard to believe that your dream will come true but it can. When I realized that my path to motherhood could come in many different forms, adoption, fostering, etc that’s when peace took over my journey.
Hannah said,
September 19, 2011 @ 7:15 pm
Isn’t God amazing?? I stare at my baby boy EVERY night and I’m still in awe that I have been SO blessed with such a perfect baby.
The journey we’ve been on is long and hard, but our babies are worth it!
Sienna said,
September 19, 2011 @ 9:31 pm
What a great year! I’m still in disbelief that I have a baby. I’m thinking it’ll sink in once she turns thirteen? Xoxo.
Justine said,
September 24, 2011 @ 3:51 am
Your daughter is so beautiful! Indeed … we are blessed. Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting!
Unfortunately, I can’t substitute teach in higher education … and I don’t have certification to do secondary school work … so it’s an all or nothing sort of deal. It’s a tough choice … I see that you are struggling with a similar dilemma! Love and light to you as you continue on that journey.
Denise said,
September 28, 2011 @ 1:50 am
Thank you for this post -it is inspiring and hopeful.