All paid up

Mark paid our massive Dr.s bill today.  I am so blessed to have a hard working husband that can financially support this crazy process. He also told his boss he is going to have to miss 2 big work trips for us.  I didn’t think he would do it but I heard the conversation myself.  I told him he was going to have to sacrifice and he is.

Now that we are all paid up there is no turning back. I was secretly hoping he would say let’s put this money toward adoption.  This IVF process is scaring me.  What if I get sick from the drugs? What if it doesn’t work? What if the ICSI damages the babies genetics? So many?  What if it all goes right? Am I ready to be a mom?  Do I have what it takes to raise a strong, healthy, happy child?  Am I going to get fat and never be able to lose it like my mom? When can I start riding my horse again?

All I can do is breath and focus on the things I love. My husband, dog, cat, horse, friends and family.  I will probably cook alot to keep my mind off this whole crappy process.  Eeeekkkkk


1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Found your blog at cycle sistas – I ask myself all the same questions, all the time. Even if I’m ready to be a mom, which you’d think we’d know the answer to by now! Just so you know – so far the drugs are ok, I haven’t had any reactions.

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