Mark paid our massive Dr.s bill today. I am so blessed to have a hard working husband that can financially support this crazy process. He also told his boss he is going to have to miss 2 big work trips for us. I didn’t think he would do it but I heard the conversation myself. I told him he was going to have to sacrifice and he is.
Now that we are all paid up there is no turning back. I was secretly hoping he would say let’s put this money toward adoption. This IVF process is scaring me. What if I get sick from the drugs? What if it doesn’t work? What if the ICSI damages the babies genetics? So many? What if it all goes right? Am I ready to be a mom? Do I have what it takes to raise a strong, healthy, happy child? Am I going to get fat and never be able to lose it like my mom? When can I start riding my horse again?
All I can do is breath and focus on the things I love. My husband, dog, cat, horse, friends and family. I will probably cook alot to keep my mind off this whole crappy process. Eeeekkkkk