The Ride is Coming to a Complete Stop

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are coming to the end of the ride. Keep your arms and legs inside the car until we’ve made a complete stop.  Oh man that was a wicked ride, I got a little sick, have a headache, cried tears of sadness and screamed for joy. 

The heart has stopped and the time has come to schedule the D&C.  I am heading to MN tonight for a wedding and really hope the bleeding doesn’t start while I am at the wedding. That would succcckkkkkkk! My Dr doesn’t think it will since I haven’t started spotting yet so I just need to make it till Monday for the D&C.  My mind, heart and body just can’t take a natural miscarriage if I don’t have to.  

To my little miracle,

You defied the odds right from the start. Dr Chang only gave you a 10% chance of growing and you did. At 6 weeks I was told you weren’t there but you were. At 7 weeks I was told you didn’t have a heartbeat but you did.  Man you are a little fighter and I love you for it.  I am at peace knowing you are resting with god and my loved ones.  They will take great care of you until it’s really your turn to be my child.  I am sorry your cells weren’t healthy enough I will work on that for next time.  

 Thank you for giving me 3 more weeks to be your mom. You were and will be loved and missed.  Those 3 weeks reminded me how much I want to be a mom.  I will keep fighting to make that dream a reality. Love, Mommy


17 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    a said,

    I’m so sorry.

  2. 2

    jill said,

    So very sorry. Thinking of you. *hug*

  3. 3

    Heather said,

    Oh Sweetie. My heart aches for you guys. I’m so sorry.

    Thinking of you guys.

  4. 4

    Suzy said,

    I’m so sorry. Thinking of you.

  5. 5

    Holly said,

    Sorry that this ride is ending in this way… praying for you as you continue to prepare mentally and emotionally for the D&C. You have written some beautiful words for your little one.

  6. 6

    babybaker said,

    oh no. 😦

    my heart hurts for you. (((hugs)))

  7. 7

    kmina said,

    I am so very sorry. This is cruel and unfair.
    I cry for your little one…

  8. 8

    Funsize said,

    Crying for you, with you. I am SO sorry.

  9. 9

    Emily said,


    I’ll be praying for you. I hope you and your hubby take some time to heal and grieve. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here!


  10. 10

    Laura said,

    Been following your journey and was truly hoping that this little one was here to stay. Alas, it is not. But that baby had to have know the most love that anyone in this world can get. I truly hope that you get your wonderful baby soon. Take care of yourself. Many prayers are being sent up for you………Good luck. Laura

  11. 11

    Mel said,

    Kristi–I am so so sorry.

  12. 12

    Ingrid said,

    Sorry for your loss. Loved your poem to your baby it made me cry.
    prayers for strength.

  13. 13

    Justine said,

    I’m so sorry, Kristi. Thinking healing thoughts for you right now…

  14. 14

    Adele said,

    Kristi, I’m so sorry. I saw your news go out on the LFCA. I hope you made it through the weekend and that today was…I lack the vocabulary skills to pick a suitable word. I hope it went quickly and that you are okay (okay being a relative term). Hugs to you.

  15. 15

    ifcrossroads said,

    My fellow SGFC sister, I’m so sorry to read your news. I really am. Sending my prayers and love your way and wishing I could give you a big ((hug)) and a shoulder to cry upon.

  16. 16

    My Reality said,

    I am so sorry you lost this pregnancy. Thinking of you and hoping you are ok.

  17. 17

    Hannah said,

    Oh, I wanted to cry reading your letter to your baby. I’m so sorry. Hugs!

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