I am not hiding it anymore

All along I have been pretty open about what were going through. Most of our family and close friends know we are going through IVF.  Somethings I keep private because Mark has asked me to.  I have never felt ashamed or private about this infertility crap. I’m not a private person but Mark is so I have to find a balance with what I say.

So Saturday I went to a baby shower for a neighbor who was having her 3rd girl in less then 5 years. I know that’s a whole other post.  But I went because I like her and one of my best friends went with too.  The party was thrown by pregnant lady’s mothers group. So I was the only one out of 12 that didn’t have a child or children.  I knew the question was coming so I just waited for it. And….within 30 minutes of arriving another pregnant woman asked me “Do you have any children?” Nope “Do you want to have children?” Yes very badly but I have infertility issues and have gone through 2 IVF’s so far.  “Oh I am sorry I have a girlfriend that went through it to a couple times and now has twins.” We continued to chat about life, her child, future child, etc. 

I felt so free just to speak my truth. She may have been the 1st stranger I just answered honestly and I have to say I loved it.  In fact it might become my go to answer when folks ask about the kid situation.  Does anyone want to send me a badge of courage like the cowardly lion.  You don’t have to be in the land of Oz to find your courage.


4 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Wow! That took a lot of courage to even attend the shower … let alone be able to talk about your IF experience. That’s definitely a step forward … and you should be proud of yourself!

  2. 2

    jo said,

    Good for you! I’m so OVER baby showers for someone’s second (or worse, third) child. That is SO not the point of a shower, IMHO. But I am SO PROUD of you for standing up for your situation, being honest and forthright. We have ALL got to start talking about this if we want others to understand where we’re coming from.

    Big hugs,

  3. 3

    amanda said,

    That is so awesome! I found that the more open I was, other people were also open about their struggles. I was amazed to find out how many people went through the same things I did, or similar and how we are all struggling silently, its sad.

  4. 4

    Roccie said,

    Complete agreement you get 2 badges – one for just walking in the door of that shower. Brutal. Right on, Jo, this sounds like a particularly rough shower.

    I cannot bear how everyone who “has a friend/cousin/coworker” who did IVF got the twins. It isn’t that easy and their pat reference to someone else’s success doesn’t make it any easier on me.

    Rar. Good for you to get it out there. I love to post stuff to FB. The first time I did it I had a handful of friends who came out to me.

Comment RSS · TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: