I am flying over the coo coo nest

Since the miscarriage I have been finding myself talking to my little one. It’s gotten even worse since we found out it was a girl.  Last night I was driving out to see my horse and started talking to her.  “Please please come back as a healthy baby. I promise we will have tons of fun, go shopping, make crafts (easy crafts), sing, dance, you name it we will do it. Dad has promised to get you a pony if you want one. You will be so loved. Please Please come back.”

Now I’m not really sure that’s how life works. I don’t know if her soul will come back as a healthy child or if we will get a new soul. I’ve never given re-incarnation much thought because Catholics don’t believe that.  But I know it’s possible and Catholics aren’t the only religion on the planet.  I don’t even know if there are stories in the bible of re-incarnation. I should look it up and study that during my next bible time.

My point is I think this baby making stuff is making me crazy. I’ve even joked with folks that I might just steal someone’s child if this kid thing doesn’t happen. (I would NEVER do that).  I’ve been telling my brother and SIL for a few years now they can just give me my nieces.  They keep say “get your own”; well I’m trying really hard. So they have agreed to send me them for the summer when they turn 13. 

Oh well it’s only a matter of time before I have my own and I won’t have to steal someone else’s child.

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13 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Heather said,

    I would be interested to hear what you find in the Bible on reincarnation. I never studied that before.

    I hope you do get your healthy baby – sooner rather than later.

  2. 2

    Saartjie said,

    Hello again,

    You are not crazy. Infertility makes us all a little nuts. 🙂 I wish I could say something to make it a little better, but the truth is- this will take time.

    I am sorry for your loss.

    I hope that you will not have to wait too long for your little bundle of joy. I try to remind myself dayly that “anything is possible”

  3. 3

    babybaker said,

    you’re not crazy! although IF is enough to put us in a looney bin, we’re not there yet! i think it’s sweet that you talk to her soul. not sure about reincarnation, but i am sure about this cycle being IT for both of us! (positive thinking!!!)

  4. 4

    a said,

    I think it’s part of grieving to talk to those who have left and ask them to come back – so I vote for not crazy.

    It’s hard to be waiting for something you want so badly…

  5. 5

    Haidee said,

    Not crazy, just infertility challenged! I find myself thinking crazy thoughts at times too, totally normal! I also think it’s sweet that you are talking to her and you just never know. Happy ICLW week!

    ICLW#10

  6. 6

    Jess said,

    You are not crazy. Infertility is hard. Miscarriage after infertility is even harder. It’s a pain I would wish upon no one.

    Waiting is so hard…thinking of you, i am about to start IVF #4 after a loss as well.
    -Jess (#74)

  7. 7

    Funsize said,

    I’ve done that too, mostly in my head. I’ve also heard stories from others about having children with old souls, so its possible. I just don’t know myself. There’s this story on the internet about a possible proof of reincarnation:

    http://www.reversespins.com/proofofreincarnation.html

    xo

  8. 8

    Me said,

    I’m so sorry to read of your miscarriage [even more so considering it happened on my birthday!].

    I hope your next cycle brings you a living breathing babe.

    ICLW
    #56 Miss Ruby
    http://www.themissruby.blogspot.com/

  9. 9

    Martha said,

    I can see you feeling that way, but may not be a good thing to joke about these days (With so many acual baby stealing cases happening)

    I’m sure you know that, but I’m just sayin…

  10. 10

    Emily said,

    I am constantly saying “When I buy my baby…” so I totally get the suggestions about taking someones child. Sometimes infertility makes us say and do crazy things!

  11. 11

    BU said,

    I think it’s great that you talk to your little girl. It is all part of healing and if it helps you then it is the exact right thing to do.

  12. 12

    Annie said,

    I’ve met people who swear that the child they had after an early loss is the same spirit coming again in a different body. I don’t buy it. I think this just helps people see the miscarriage not as a real loss, but as a delay in getting their baby. I’ve had multiple losses, including two boys in a row, both lost in the fifth month. I definitely felt that they were different people, not the same boy trying again to be born.

  13. 13

    hopeisafourletterword said,

    Thanks for stopping by my blog, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you much luck with your upcoming IVF.


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