Why Can’t It Be Easy

Thanks for blogoversary wishes I will be picking a winner soon.

So I tested on Wednesday, 9/29 which was 9dp3dt and it was a BFN.  I waited for Mark to leave the house then I had a HUGE emotional breakdown. I know it was early but still it was negative and all my hurt just came out.  I screamed in the shower asking god, why.  I bawled, bawled some more then pulled myself together for work.  I am comfortable in my relationship with god that I know it’s ok to get angry as long as I don’t stay angry.

Thursday, 9/30 I started spotting light pink, pink then by nighttime I spotted red when I wiped.  I had minor cramps so I just prayed it was implantation (This happened last time).  I couldn’t sleep at all, was burning up, and just tossed and turned. I was up at 12am peed, saw red. Got up at 3am and decided to take a HPT again within a couple minutes got a BFP, faint but still a BFP.

Friday, 10/1 I got up at 6:30am and showed Mark the test.  He said “So we still have a chance? I though Dr C said not to test at home.” Umm yes but you know I can’t do that so now I am paying the piper.  He gave me a big kiss and said “Ok we aren’t telling anyone until its safe.”  I agreed except for you folks, shhhh told tell.  Anyway I got to work and started feeling flow and went to the bathroom, more red spotting but only when I wipe.  I decide to take my glutton for punishment self to Walgreens and get more First Reponse tests.  While walking to Walgreens 2 blocks I felt lots of flow.  Got back to work and had soaked my liner with muted red.  I tested again at 11am and got a very very faint positive. Now I realize I tested after going to the bathroom 3 times in less then 5 hours.  The flow has slowed, my legs are resting under my desk and now I just pray it’s not a chemical.  Dr C is adding progesterone in oil to my endometrin and estrace today.  

4 more days till beta


8 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Amber said,

    Wow, I am excited for you and dh to get another bfp!!! I understand the concern though…I’ve never been there, but to be spotting and have a bfp must be concerning from your last cycle. Praying he/she is just seriously burrowing in to get comfy! I can’t believe you have to wait 4 days!!!!!! Praying for you!

  2. 2

    babybaker said,

    oooooommmmggggggg! i have EVERY possible thing crossed super duper hard! spotting, spotting, go away. don’t come back another day!

    hang in there baby(ies)!

    PIO – please work your magic and make the spotting stop and the baby(ies) stick!


  3. 3

    I hate that your body is messing with your mind!!

    These four days are going to dragggggggggggggggg! I can’t wait!!

  4. 4

    holly said,

    Oh girl, you just don’t get it easy, do you??? Praying that little babe sticks and sticks good. Praying for your sanity while you wait for beta.

  5. 5

    ingrid said,

    praying for you spotting sucks!

  6. 6

    Hannah said,

    I hope and pray that you get a really BIG FP when you go in for your beta in a couple of days!

  7. 7

    sienna said,

    oh boy, you’ve been through a roller coaster lately. i’m hoping really hard that the bleeding has stopped and that you get that positive beta tomorrow. i dunno why this stuff just can’t be easy. hope you’re hanging in there and i’ll be waiting for some good news tomorrow :o)

  8. 8

    Banksybaby said,

    Ugh, it’s never an easy road. I am keeping fingers crossed that this is just fluke bleeding and you get that bfp! Hang on and keep an even keel…it’s not over yet. 🙂

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