A Different Kind of 2 Week Wait

So I know the 2WW is grueling and sends you into crazy town.  Analyzing every symptom or no symptom.  Counting down the minutes till you can take a test.  Crying because you know it didn’t work, and then smiling thinking it did.

But this wait between our 9 week ultrasound and our 1st OB appointment at 12 weeks is almost as bad.  I told Mark Saturday I wish I had an ultrasound machine at home just so I can make sure little biddy is ok.  I know I could buy a dobbler but I fear I won’t find the heartbeat and start to really freak out.  I also realize the missed miscarriage isn’t helping things. I didn’t know you could lose your little one and not have bleeding/cramping but sadly now I do. 

I am 10 weeks 1 day today and have 2 weeks to go before my 1st OB appointment.  I am counting down the days. I hold on to my wicked need to sleep.  I cop a feel a couple times a day to make sure the girls are still huge.  I gasp at my bloated belly and think how can I not be pregnant.  Lastly I thank god for everyday and pray little biddy is growing strong.

I can’t wait for the flutter, kicks, punches, etc. I read in my baby book you should count the movements during a 2 hour period.  Can you imagine getting to count movements? That is going to be amazing for this ole infertile gal.  When I can feel movement I think I will start to breath a little easier.


9 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    sienna said,

    i used to think it was smooth sailing after the bfp! jokes on me!! don’t get me wrong, i’d much rather be *here* than where we were before, but still … the stress and anxiety can be soo overwhelming. i hope the next 2 weeks FLY by for you until you can see the little bean again. i got a doppler and i really do think i’m as crazy as they come, but even i’ve managed to limit my use 2x’s a week. the reasoning is that after a good heartbeat reading, i’m on a high for 3-4 days and don’t feel the need to check again until a few days pass. before i got it, my concern was that i’d be a lunatic and try to check the heartbeat 2x’s a day. luckily, it ain’t so :o) xoxo.

  2. 2

    Thanks for your kind words on my blog. Congrats on your pregnancy…I hope your little one continues to grow and thrive!

  3. 3

    Alenka said,

    I am in a very similar situation, 10w2d and we’ll see the baby again at NT scan in exactly 2 weeks. I too am too scared to buy a doppler, I would be freaking out if I couldn’t find the heartbeat. And from my experience with my first pregnancy that resulted in my boy, I know that things will get easier. We have another 6 weeks or so before we’ll be able to identify first baby moves and from that on it’s a totally different world. So hang in there, in another few weeks we’ll be out of first trimester!

  4. 4

    Nina said,

    I did the same thing, not wanting to buy a doppler because I knew I’d freak out, and I know how to use the damn things! I’d do really well the first week after my U/S, then talk myself out of it and be terrified again by the next visit. Don’t panic if things don’t go just like the book, some babies are more or less active, and mine even took naps periodically! I also had the urge to tackle the anesthesia techs at work and strap the cardiac U/S machine to me while I worked. (I’m an OR nurse, and a former labor nurse. Talk about neurotic!) It will get easier once you feel him/her move. Take deep breaths, stay calm, take breaks when you need them, and don’t be afraid to call the doctor for the least little thing. I felt silly, thinking I shouldn’t bother my friends/doctor’s office, but that’s what I was paying them for, right? You’re welcome to email me if you’d like to talk. nina_cavitt@att.net Congrats again!

  5. 5

    finch said,

    I felt so much better after finally leaving the first trimester. You are so close. I hope the next 2 weeks pass quickly!

  6. 6

    kmina said,

    I managed to not get a doppler, but on the other hand, I went to the doctor every 2 weeks and had a u/s almost every time. I know, I was and am sooo lucky.

    It will get easier once you feel the movement. Definitely. It won’t be long. Hold on to your sanity until then. We’re here for you.

  7. 7

    jill said,

    Congrats on your pregnancy! I’ve been behind in reading and just caught up. So happy for you 🙂

    Sending strength your way to help make it through all the new waits that come with pregnancy. I can’t even imagine.

  8. 8

    babybaker said,

    i know this is the hardest part for you, but look! one week is already over! only one week to go! and with the holiday, time will fly by even faster!

    you know i’m thinking about all 3 of you all the time! xoxox!

    and i’m glad you skipped the doppler!

  9. 9

    sienna said,

    hi babe – what my docs call the quad screen, others doc call the anatomy scan, i think. they basically just all the major organs (brain, heart, lungs, kidney) on the baby, as well as use the info about these organs to reassess once again the downs syndrome and trisomies risk. my doc said it’s technically a “pentascreen”, but the name quad screen is what stuck :o)

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