I am standing in the lobby of our company waiting for some guests to arrive. A co-worker comes up and asks “Did you get pregnant naturally or through invitro?”
I paused for a second or 2 to process my shock of such a bold question. I don’t talk to this person often mostly a quick hello, how are you. There were other co-workers in the lobby including a receptionist. Our company has 150+ employees at my location. So there I stood telling her my story as she asked questions. It was an out of body experience but one that reminded me of the struggles I’ve been through. She will have to go through IVF due to an elective tubal ligation she had in early 20’s. She was sure she was going to adopt until she met her husband who doesn’t want to adopt. So if she wants children she has to go through IVF.
A couple hours have passed and I am still in shock. Why would she suggest I went through IVF, unless people talk? Now I haven’t hidden my struggles but I have been very select in who I tell at work. Now I am flattered that I could answer her questions about IVF, clinics, cost, etc. But on the other hand I am irritated that I was asked “Is your pregnancy natural?” My desire to have this child is 100% natural; my love for this child is 100% natural, there is nothing unnatural about this pregnancy. How I got there wasn’t natural. The question just hurt a little. Maybe because it reminded me that, I didn’t get to make love to my husband and create this child. Maybe it reminded me that my body failed at getting pregnant for a long time.
So the answer is “No I went through IVF 3 times, lost a pregnancy and almost broke my spirit and my marriage along the way.”