I don’t take you for granted

Earlier today I was reading through the list on Lost and Found Connections Abound.  I check this list every time Mel updates it. I enjoy reading the BFP posts, arrivals, celebrations, and know my spirit needs to pray, mourn; grieve for those that don’t have such positive news.  It felt so good to have that support while going through my IVF’s and miscarriage.  It’s also a weekly reminder to thank god for every kick, punch, roll, etc.  I am thankful for hearing her heartbeat with my Doppler. (Yes I still check on her)

I am honored and humbled at the gift god has bestowed upon me.  I thank him every day for keeping her safe and growing.  I thank him for the movement and even the back pain.  My back hurts everyday but I don’t want to complain or discredit why I have back pain.  I read these stories of loss whether it’s early, mid term or still birth and they all break my heart.  I wish I could take away their pain and loss. I don’t have the power to do that but I can be grateful everyday for my pumpkin. 

If you’re reading this and you have lost a pumpkin, I am so sorry.  I pray your dreams come true someday soon.

To my pumpkin I will continue to thank god for you. I won’t ever take your life and how amazing it is for granted. You were chosen to be my daughter and I am so blessed.  I will spend my life caring for and loving you. 


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    sienna said,

    i read the lfca update yesterday and someone’s amniotic sac ruptured at 17 weeks. it made me sooo sad and angry. i can’t read things like that anymore. last night, i was watching army wives and someone died, and i started crying. i dunno what’s wrong with me!

    how’re you hanging in??

  2. 2

    babybaker said,

    you are awesome. xo.

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