Earlier today I was reading through the list on Lost and Found Connections Abound. I check this list every time Mel updates it. I enjoy reading the BFP posts, arrivals, celebrations, and know my spirit needs to pray, mourn; grieve for those that don’t have such positive news. It felt so good to have that support while going through my IVF’s and miscarriage. It’s also a weekly reminder to thank god for every kick, punch, roll, etc. I am thankful for hearing her heartbeat with my Doppler. (Yes I still check on her)
I am honored and humbled at the gift god has bestowed upon me. I thank him every day for keeping her safe and growing. I thank him for the movement and even the back pain. My back hurts everyday but I don’t want to complain or discredit why I have back pain. I read these stories of loss whether it’s early, mid term or still birth and they all break my heart. I wish I could take away their pain and loss. I don’t have the power to do that but I can be grateful everyday for my pumpkin.
If you’re reading this and you have lost a pumpkin, I am so sorry. I pray your dreams come true someday soon.
To my pumpkin I will continue to thank god for you. I won’t ever take your life and how amazing it is for granted. You were chosen to be my daughter and I am so blessed. I will spend my life caring for and loving you.