Good Bye My Sweet Puppy

Well it’s taken me a few days to come back and update my last post.  I won’t relive the whole story because it hurts too much.

Long story short – my compassionate and kind vet took it upon herself to do an ultrasound Friday night after I left him resting in his hospital cage.  Her gut just told her something else was going on because he still was paralyzed and now passing bloody stool.  The ultrasound revealed a tumor on his spleen and liver.  She called me at 6:30pm as I was driving in the country with Mark and my mom.  I went into la la land crying for the next hour because I knew what the tumors meant.  It was time to say good-bye to my fur baby.  Saturday morning my mom, Mark and I met the vet(she was supposed to go on vacation but came it just for me).  We spent time with him crying, kissing and hugging him.  It was so hard because he was so alert and normal(minus the paralysis). It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.  Who knew you could love a dog so much.

I have spent the last 3 days crying, grieving and just plain being super sad.

The thing helping me through his loss is seeing gods grace, mercy and love every where.  From the timing of pumpkins arrival, the kindness of the vet, to the last 10 days I’ve had alone with him.  Since I have been on vacation since memorial day Gordy and I have spent every minute together.  We watched soaps together, napped, he got steak, hot dogs, all the horse manure he could stand and lots of my undivided attention.

Tomorrow will be a whole new story one I pray filled with 10 fingers and 10 toes.  Someone said to me yesterday “You have to experience the lowest of lows before you experience the highest of highs.”  I pray that it’s true and meeting Pumpkin takes my heart and spirit to a place I can’t imagine.  See you soon….


13 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Kristi. We just found out our cat has FIV, and her infections are getting harder to fight off…I fear it won’t be long before we have to make a hard choice too.

    I will be praying for you tomorrow. I pray your surgery goes well, and your venture into motherhood is blessed beyond measure. I can’t wait to “meet” her.

  2. 2

    Astral said,

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your puppy. They became family and we love them so much. Very exciting to meet Pumpkin today–can’t wait for pictures 😉

  3. 3

    BigP's Heather said,

    Your heart will soar.

    But I doubt that will take away your grief. Especially when you bring that precious baby home. Because I’m sure there was a thought or plan of how to introduce the two, and when that doesn’t happen…it is ok to feel sadness even in the midst of joy. Whatever you feel is valid. It doesn’t mean you aren’t happy about Pumpkin.

  4. 4

    Mina said,

    It is so said to say goodbye. But on the other hand you will say hello to your Pumpkin soon, so you will have your hands full, sort of speak. I hope the c-section is gentle with you and the recovery is optimal. Fingers crossed for everything turning alright. Can’t wait for the birth story and the first days description. Hope you get a sleeper. 😉

  5. 5

    Tanya said,

    So sorry to hear about your furbaby.

    Thinking of you today. I hope everything goes well and there are no complications.

  6. 6

    Bec said,

    I am in tears over the loss of your sweet dog. Cannot wait for the joy and healing your new precious baby will bring. Thinking of you today.

  7. 7

    Amber said,

    My heart goes out to you Kristi!! My puppy of 13 yrs had to be put down right before my wedding…It took me 7 yrs to be able to get another dog it was so painful! But, as you said, God is good, cause his timing is amazing. Today he’s giving you a gift of joy! Praying for you right now!

  8. 8

    Holly said,

    So sorry about your sweet doggie. It’s amazing how much a part of us our furbabies become. Praying for you and your baby girl… can’t wait to see her face! 🙂

  9. 9

    babybaker said,

    The hurt will always be there, but it will lessen as the days go by. But I know the spot Gordy holds in your heart will never change.

    May you be smiling today and from here on out! Thinking of you. Hoping for a speedy recovery! Can’t wait to meet your daughter! Xoxoxo!

  10. 10

    Laura said,

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet furbaby. I know how horrible it feels. I’m glad that you got to spend some nice time with him before you had to say goodbye. You are in my thoughts and prayers both for the loss of your puppy and the welcoming of your daughter. I can’t wait to hear about those sweet fingers and toes!

  11. 11

    Stacy said,

    I’m so sorry about your doggie! I’m praying for you today as you meet your precious little girl!!

  12. 12

    Hannah said,

    I am so sorry for the loss of your furbaby. I can only imagine how hard it has been for you. I love the quote about experiencing the lowest low before you can enjoy the highest high. Your pumpkin will bring you the greatest joy ever!

    Good luck with delivery 🙂

  13. 13

    jill said,

    I’m so sorry for your loss 😦 *hug*

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